Forums » A night of Fun » NeMesis gives us the books of Gor al la Dr. Seuss

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : Anyone ever wonder what it would have been like if Dr. Seuss had written the Gor books?

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : Now the Whos in Who-ro-ba were snug in their furs Not dreaming of Vosk Sharks or Pirates or Kurs When a sudden kajira-thump sounded quite loud! (And the Whos wear the scarlet, of which they're quite proud) So they rang the alarm bar! Clang-Clang! and Ring-Dong! (For a Warrior's response time is never too long) And all armed with their helmets, their spears and whangdoodles, Their shortswords and round shields and Schendese kaboodles They dashed to their posts! And just what did they see? But a Priest King

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : The Priest King before them was golder than gold, His numerous appendages began to unfold The Whos gathered round him, one let out a squeak As the Priest King emitted an odor to speak! "If your slave is a Dina," the Priest King did smell, "And you give her some bina, which she thinks is swell, "But she whines for some bana, and her name is Tina... "Do you give her the bina or save it for Donna, "The recent Earth capture who cleans up the sauna, "But you don't have to give them the bina or bana, "Since they

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : "Tal, Tal," said the Warrior Whoius Who "You come from the Sardar, and this do you do? "You zoom to our room and cause claxons to clash, "And summon our slaves from their bowls of slave-mash! "With our paga bowls tipped and our larmas all smashed "We rush to your presence and what do we hear "But a confuddled riddle? Well, here is my spear!" The much-vaunted Warrior Whoius of Who Raised his spear at the Priest King (not a wise thing to do) But the Priest King was ready! He depressed a switch because Priest-

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : But the Priest King was ready! He depressed a switch because Priest-Kings all carry gerthunkles for this) And the notable Whoius burst into flame Leaving little more left in his place but his name So the other Whos gazed as the fate of their friend, And decided to be quiet and listen an Ehn. The Priest King stepped back, then what happened next Put their meeting this night in a whole new context For out the shadows there then came a man Who boldly announced to them, "Samos-I-am!

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : The fellow had closely-cropped hair all of white Two rings in his ears were an interesting sight And under his right arm he carried some fur Which he unrolled to show them: the skin of a Kur! The slaves were all frightened and wriggling away The rest of the Whoius clan showed dismay And even the boldest there let out a squawk When they heard this odd Samos-I-am start to talk: "Fur...! Kur...! In their own tongue, a beast! "An ugly smelly fang-faced thing "They call it in the East.

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : "They have strange rings they sometimes wear "Which make them quite invisible "They dwell in Steel Worlds in the air "In unions quite divisible." At this he pointed to a man Who stood and watched these things "So now then, noble Grinchius, "Will you serve the great Priest Kings?" But Grinchius, he was not convinced For he liked his house and girls; He wasn't ready to go forth And engage in the game of worlds For I have read the stories," Good Grinchius did speak And I do not like these Priest Kings "And the

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : "I will not play this game of worlds "And go to the Tahari And get sunburned diffusing bombs "For then I would be sorry! "I will not piss the rencers off "And wind up on the lam "I will not serve the Priest Kings "or their purpose, Samos-I-am!" Samos-I-am looked troubled (For he HAD come a long way) And Grinchius was being rude So THIS did Samos say: "Will you serve them in Port Kar? "Will you serve them up in Ar?" Grinchius was angry, and he began to rave! He wanted to get back inside and diddle with his s

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : "I will not serve them in Port Kar, "I will not serve them up in Ar! "I will not serve them west of Thentis "I will not be their new apprentice! "I care not if they're in a jam, "I won't serve Priest Kings, Samos-I-am!" "Will you serve them for one trip? "Will you sail Tersites ship?" "I will not serve them for one trip! "I will not sail Tersites ship! "I will not bargain, trade or barter "I will not serve them in the Sardar! "I won't serve at the En'kara Fair,

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : "I will not serve them in Port Kar, "I will not serve them up in Ar! "I will not serve them west of Thentis "I will not be their new apprentice! "I care not if they're in a jam, "I won't serve Priest Kings, Samos-I-am!" "Will you serve them for one trip? "Will you sail Tersites ship?"

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : "I will not serve them anywhere! "Because I do not give a damn! "I will not serve them, Samos-I-am!" Samos had assumed his anger modality! He pointed at Grinchius and said "We shall see!" "You scoff at the Priest Kings, and for that you'll fry!" "For all of your mocking words, now shall you die." And what happened next? Well, in Who-ro-ba they say That one of the Priest King's tertiary hearts grew three sizes that day

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : So instead of the typical burst of blue flame The Priest King just left (though he called him a name) He took Samos with him, who was mad as a larl And he went back to Port Kar to try to find Tarl But they heard him exclaim as he faded from sight: "You won't star in book 26, and it serves you right!"

NeMesis~KaZahr~WWC : and that is what it would be like if Dr. Seuss wrote the Gor books